貌似前一段时间发表的言论过多，以至于最近更新space愈发的不情愿。大约是平时都将想法宣扬了出去，于是就没有必要在此赘述了。

不过要说的是，仍然很怀念lz，赵，许，我们所谓的北京爷们。

可怕的是我又沉了，让我终于开始对芝士蛋糕产生了些许抵触。

我不喜欢勉强别人做不想做的事情，但又常常勉强自己。

还有，国庆快乐。

我觉得中学的几年已经足够让我变得cynical

不过想到nelson的时候还是会觉得难过 

高估了自己的能力，起得太早了点。

结果吃饭的时候rp比较爆发。

其实是觉得睡觉的时候很孤独罢。

伤心时，睡睡觉。

而我多半选择吃冰淇淋……

又一次写作也写到人家快起床

好笑的是我回来的时候室友已经睡了，等早上上完一节课回来她还没起呢。

不过这样的事情并非第一次发生，所以也没必要大惊小怪。

我又光荣的成了suite里最后一个睡觉，第一个起床的人。

刚上完政治的discussion回来，竟然没有犯困，说明还不是很缺乏睡眠。

下了课之后，可以慢慢的溜达回来，因为一星期的课终于结束了。

现在我已经习惯了Eternity Summer,转而迷恋abercrombie & fitch了。 

又坐在了mcleaod门前的椅子上，因为早上没吃饭饿得我有点恶心。

不过最近真的重了，郁闷。

 

想起了上次，因为没有上数学，就怎么也找不到通向jpa的那条路了，真荒诞…… 

周末很快就过去。。。

 

收到一封estee lauder的邮件，又吊起了我的胃口……

 

Scientists are proving what women have know for generations:

scents are closely connected to memories and emotions.

 

结果发现这牌子香水的确多，不过我估计没有我喜欢的……

 

 

今天睡了8小时，大约是来这之后的头一次。所以心情比较爽。

不过本来心情也不错……

就是有点冷，但要坚持穿裙子路线，不然我不是白买了 

干了件很冲动的事情

轻易就决定了昨晚上不要睡觉

于是今天早上6点多才从Lounge上来

大部分时间在唱歌

很久没有这么痛快了……

不过接下来很郁闷

洗着淋浴几乎都要睡着

以后这样的事情少做为妙

 

其实没什么感情漩涡可言

最在乎的还是自己

 

和parfum 

为了作业开夜车是太熟悉的一种生活方式，只是每到1点左右就会感到莫名的郁闷。 

 

我觉得我们比较善于自嘲，这就是所谓豪爽吧。

 

 现在mcleod门口试图完成cs的作业

有点凉 应该带件外套来

******

还好笔记本电脑，aka我的LG可以让我取点儿暖

note:

不要把LG能量耗光

不要把LG外套放在地上

不用LG的时候不要把他靠在背后

 

******

 

我觉得真是很无聊才会做出这么无聊的事情 得出这么无聊的想法

不过这跟出国没什么关系……我在国内也是这样的

说实话我会这么经常去逛街连我自己都觉得可怕

可惜我没有gary那么洒脱……

 

******

 

我怀念sizzler

好久没有吃肉了

 lz的文章都写得很长，所以他更新的不频繁也是情有可原的。而我大约已经因为不停的用英文写日志而招来他人的鄙视。不过其实是无话可说。

我现在开始试图比较我和lz到底谁更糟一点。两个初中时候愤世嫉俗数学很弱的札记爱好者现在真正意义上的各奔东西，然而我们却不能把过去留在中国。或许我们应该允许所生活在的资本主义社会把我们变得实际，奉信“得不到的东西不如放弃”的原则。其实从本质上来讲，我和lz就是自虐成性，不接受追求，只想要自己够不到的，然后享受痛苦。所谓addict.

dior addict

that's me...

 

it's truly amazing

but i didn't buy it

 

although addict smells better,

j'adore is still my very first

and i remain faithful to that fact 

18 in a real sense 

i figure that a closure of the camp thing could be achieved by listing some fond moments of those 4 weeks

again, i'm just so amazed that i managed to keep going there

kind of a miracle given my lack of persistence

 

 

when spring complimented me

when we were playing mafia

when we were chatting on a boat at hou hai

when our dear director gave me a banana

when taiji palyed us guitar

when we were fussing over hseowl's hp&dh

when we were at wang fujing playing dumb games

when hseowl and taiji made me a star and a rose

when our dear director bought me a "milk deluxe"

 

when our dear director sat with me

 

when i was at the camp, feeling fulfilled

seize the day...

fe~ 

after careful consideration, i decided that i was simply caught up at the moment.

and as a realistic person, i have a timeline for this sort of thing...

although i didn't originally include him, now is the time to, uh, move on.

bcuz the opportunity cost of dwelling on a goal so hard to achieve is not acceptable, and thinking about it all the time could be such a waste of time.

how can a perfectionist be realistic?

it might seem difficult, but i'm trying to pull that off...

just when i wanted to let it go, he wrote on my wall.

damn 

i have this feeling that i'm missing sthg...

maybe lots of things

so dont bother to think

 

i miss being an idiot about that certain abc, and rambling on and on about my obsession to hseowl, lz and fe

and psycho-analyzing this thing with xzy

 

after all these times, even the dumbest person should have learned the lesson by now

but i still haven't

maybe that's the sort of thing j'adore would do to me

 

i didnt want to bother thinking about it, but i did anyway

 

again, my bad...

 

just had a pretty lousy morning

half awake for my cal class to the point that i actually considered skipping cp to get some sleep

but then i thought, ok what's the point? i dont need to be sober for lunch

so i braved the mini sandstorm created by the construction site, and got to the notoriously secluded mcleod

prof dw said that this lecture could easily be the most important one

then i thought, well that's good. glad that i came

but as the lecture went, i was freezing bcuz of the strong air conditioning, and quite asleep

it was so great of me to walk that distance and endure that coldness just to space out right under the prof's nose

at one point i even considered skipping lunch to  take a nap

but i dropped that idea

not cp

and there should be no skipping...

days without live united games are not unbearable,

but they are depressing indeed.

today i spent nearly an hour and a half waiting for a bus that never came,

which was pathetic, because so far taking the bus is the only feasible way for me to get to the fashion square.

but it didin't work out. not today at least.

and the long tiring wait made me realize how much i miss bj and how important my *plan* is... ha