"your love is for real now

you know that your love is my love

my love is your love

our love is here to stay"

 

"what you find now

what you feel now

what you know...

to be real"

 

i dont know how this helps me get over that certain abc person

but i just keep playing this song

and maximize the pain of... reminiscing

 

p.s. i miss dior j'adore

and lz's polo for men!

it was just so good

上了两天的课

做得最多的事情就是举着一张地图匆忙地走

有些地方地图上没有标出

有些即使标的非常清楚

要想找到也要费一番周折

还是蛮有哲理的

 

习惯很难改变

走在弗吉尼亚的校园里

内心仍然有一丝期盼

好像仍会在某个拐角处巧遇某个人

或是在这个人从走廊里透过玻璃向屋子里看时微笑致意

然而更多的时间里

还是漠然的心痛

 

或许喜欢上一个人就是件危险的事情

但这终究是自己的选择

需要承担痛苦的也是自己

 

不过至少

回忆属于我……

尽管我不确定是否需要它

 

之前听这首歌还在北京

而现在不但离那里很遥远

夏令营也是

现在电脑里只有got to be real和if u leave me now

真是讽刺

 

allow me to indulge mysefl in self-pity for just this one more time...

and i'll try to get over it as fast as i can

 

I'm at uva's library right now, so the computer doesn't have any chinese input methods...

and msn would be luxury under such circumstances...

 

to lz: it's always easier said than done... i guess we are just dwellers on the past, which is pretty awful, according to xzy.

and i might go a little crazy without dior j'adore. but i dont think they sell it here, so...

they do have clinique.

 

and to hseowl and torie: i was so stupid as to believe that it was got to be real... nothing about him is real... nothing about my so called feeling should be real... but i dont feel relieved by this realization. i just feel... tormented still.

i made this camp an emotional trap all by myself... right.

 

so what do you have to say now, xzy? that i'm always changing? ha...

honestly i have no idea why i fell for him so easily.

应该向lz道歉

因为之前每次他表出对英国的不满时

我都觉得有些夸大其辞

自己体会之后

才可以理解 

似乎夏令营结束后就没更新过。现在发觉距离是忘却一个人非常好的办法。不过我仍然很怀旧。 

someday

when i'm awfully low

when the world is cold...

 

i've been listening to got to be real relentlessly, bcuz i was sure that my feelings for a certain hard-to-get man had got to be real. whether they are or not, i cant tell.

 

第一反应是尽可能往他身边凑，哪怕只是讲一些无聊的话，也似乎是小有成就。

不过后来意识到，越是这样，之后不就越难忘却么？

于是还是该做什么做什么去。

但距离不是产生美么？对于他的文化背景来说倒不是这样。一旦有距离，忘却就是难免的了。

所以还不错。

大概因为他和CR同年龄的缘故，才这么有兴趣吧。

 

too emotionally invested in this camp.

 

经过在下午的深思熟虑，觉得自己多半是无聊，所以才喜欢上谁。 不过平心而论他还是很有魅力的。至少我说了i love you, to his face. 不过不能算表白就是了……哈